Lazy Sunday, am
searching for something to blog. While surfing on internet I stumble on gay
website and found something that catch my attention. I’ve read it and I would
say there are truths in it.
I would like to
share this in my blog in verbatim. I’ve
been searching for this author but sad to say I could not find him. Whoever you
are, just PM me for you to be recognize.
Here it goes.
2. BISEXUAL: The difference between you and gays is that you’re just married, have a girlfriend, dating women, you’re considered gay because you still date men.
3. TRIPPINGS: If a man goes on tripping, he would not choose the same sex. So, you want a man blow your thing or to have sex with? A straight one would rather go out looking for whores (woman).
4. DISCREET: The only difference between you and the gays is the manner of dressing up yourself. You act as a man and dress like a man but still you search for a man.
5. TOP: You would say that you’re position in bed is top. Are you sure of that? Alternatively, you’re just pretending trying to be top. This might not apply to you but there are lots of them trying to be top but they are versatile so to say. (AMININ MO NA KAPATID!)
6. CROSS DRESSERS: I’m proud and salute you! You are not ashamed of who you are, what you do, and what you have. MABUHAY! (TIP: Ate, please wear something that looks good on you, don’t be too vulgar!)
8. MACHO TYPE: Having a good physical built, a gym buddy, yes a perfect body. However, not all macho that you see around you are straight, they may be straight looking, but inside they are strange acting. They go on guys that same as them.
9. TRYING HARD TYPE: Don’t punish yourself acting like a man if you can’t. PLEASE, be yourself, if you try hard enough the more you look so suspicious…I’m telling you.
10. HARD TO GET: You are simply “pa-demure” effect, but when someone offered you something that is hard to resist you easily say “YES”. Don’t be such INARTE after all it leads you to one thing and that is lust. (PAKUNWARI KA PA).
11. FEMININE: When it comes to dressing up, you’re the type who goes on what’s in and what’s new, even if it doesn’t look good in you, aside from that, you dress in “terno” jeans, shirt, shoes, caps and the never ending accessories…one more thing, you have your own “KIKAY” kit, a pouch that contains, powder (blush-on or compact) cologne or perfume, lip gloss, tissue, hanky, condom and lubes (in case of emergency). Another thing you’re so conscious in your dress, you don’t want it to be messed up and crumpled.
12. MA-FEELING: You are somewhat the same as HARD TO GET TYPE; the only difference is that you look yourself more superior than others. You have the feeling that you don’t belong to them. Remember all gays are the same they still needs men. You always add in your profile NO PIC NO REPLY, Why? Are you that handsome enough? (Mayabang, kala mo kung sinong gwapo!) Does it hurt? No, it’s reality.
13. EXECUTIVE: You are of those white collar types. Hiding in the closet and keeping your identity secret to your friends and subordinates but when your urge comes, you simply pick up a guy…pay, and drive your way to the nearest motel or hotel without being noticed.
14. LONESOME: You are a type of guy who pity his self it’s just because nobody likes you or dates you; maybe you’re not that good looking. You are not the type of the CHOOSEY ones. But you see, don’t be such ma-feeling, if someone would want you even if his not your type, grab the opportunity. (Rather than nothing at all).
15. CURIOUS: Some men are just curious what's going on this gay world, so they create an account on gay sites, are you sure you’re just curious? Or curious enough in finding guys like you do? Remember, curiosity killed the cat! (PLASTIC).
16. CHAKA DOLL: It’s really frustrating when you are, not that good looking, or you don’t have the looks at all and you don’t even have a nice body. So, how could anyone like you? But there is a chance for you, go on for the HARD TO GET and offer them something irresistible. Don’t be lonesome it’s just that your not that lucky enough to have it, besides, character is far better than looks alone and you have to believe that someone out there is really meant for you. (You may agree or not but it’s legally true).
17. NOT FOR SEB (DAW): Ikaw ba yan? hello? sister! pakunwari ka pa! eh ano gingawa mo dito? chat??? Curious?? Sino niloko mo? hai...please, don't be such stupid, if your here, your still look for SEX, admit it or not. LOL. Sorry...
18. LOOKING FOR FRIENDS TYPE: HELLLOOO!!!! If you are looking for friends, you should be at FRIENDSTER, FACEBOOK and TWITER! What you mean to say is that....you’re looking for guy friends that I could have sex with??? ahahahaah! So, you are only interested in guys? How about the girls?? ngek!! epal.
19. THE MR. SEARCHER: A typical type of guy who is looking for a boyfriend, a FUBU (fuck buddy) or a lifetime partner. The one who wants to be loved no matter what he is, what he has and what he does. They are hoping to find MR. RIGHT in this site for I believe that there are still true persons with real and good intentions....HAPPY SEARCHING. (Sana ung mahanap mo eh single din, di mo lang alam may boyfriend din pala, at ikaw ang kanyang PANGALAWA, PANGATLO, PANGAPAT, hay naku sister! baka kulangin ang FINGERS MO! (YOU MAY NOT KNOW!).
20. MR. MARTYR AND ASA: A type of gay who never gives up. (Kahit kinakaliwa na ng kanyang PAPA) with he’s favorite line "I will do anything for you and give everything that you wish for basta DON'T leave me." hahahahaha...Sister, time to move on, there are so many fishes in the sea.
21. THE INDIAN GAY: “Indian” a gay lingo word that means not showing up. Yeah, there are lots of gays out there who sets an EB a.k.a. eyeball. So, you are prepared with your nice outfit (probably the best), adding do that a perfume that everyone can smell! Then you or he sets the time and place, finally the moment had arrived, so, you are standing on the meeting place waiting for your date, then, he sent you an sms (text message) telling, “I got an emergency” Or “Something came up” or “I have an errand to do.” THINK OF THESE REASONS: 1.) He had seen you, but he was hiding somewhere and you’re not his type so he hadn’t shown up and meet you.” 2.) He is expecting a lot more from you, a perfect guy as he wanted but he was dismayed because you are not. After that frustrating wait, you never had heard any word from him. (Sana man lang, nagpakita just to say “Hi” para naman di masayang ang effort at pamasahe mo kahit walang kahihinatnan. SANA TAMAAN KA NG PANA NG MGA INDIAN NA GAYA MO! Believe in the universal law of KARMA, what you give, you get return!
22. THE GAY WHORE: HUSTO? Whatever! These guys are not straight because they do whatever you want them to do as long as you pay for them. TAMA? One thing more, they want a higher price, aba! Sila na nga ang nasasarapan, sila pa ang babayaran mo! Bakit kaya ganun? MY TIPS: 1.) Give them a nice price that you can afford, then say “TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT?” hehehehe, they are probably broke, and they would come after you…hahahahaah! Kung ayaw talaga nila eh di huwag! 2.) Go fishing, you may get a better one with your price. (ATE, hindi siya nag-iisa, MARAMI SILA!)
23. THE INTIMATE FRIEND: A type of gay who wants only friendship. No commitment, no string attached and relationship is a big NO NO! In short, friends having sex. At times, it leads to a deeper friendship till you become best friends….but still sex is always there….hmmmm…sounds really great, isn’t it?
24. THE GAY ALL THE WAY: These gays never choose, not picky, they don’t mind the looks, as long as there is a dick that they could, sit, lick, and savor on! Whew! My tips: If you ran into these gays, engage in safe sex or better else, just ignore them. Hold your urge and have self-control. Remember, they may have a contagious disease and YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WAITING FOR YOUR GRAVE, DON’T YOU? Sabi nga ni Anne: “I maybe a slot, but I am the best slot in town.” Hanep! Whappak!
25. THE GREEDY: A type of person who wants relationship because of money or anything that he can get from you…(Let’s have sex then pay me after). The Bil-moko type, with his lines: 1.) I like that, can you buy me one? 2.) Wow, nice watch! Can you give it to me? 3.) There is a new cell phone on the market…and… 4.) I ran out of allowance this week can you spare me some? 5.) I need to buy something, do you an extra? 6.) Can I borrow money from you I’ll pay you back…(asa ka pa)….countless and never ending demands (at ikaw naman mahal mo siya di bigay ka kahit mawalan ka). Ate, hindi ka si Rosa Rosal o member ng Gawad Kalinga para huthotan! Wake up! Nevertheless, there are relationship that gives and takes..(tama? Siguro nga…at sana nga).
26. THE HANDSOME AND CUTIE: I can’t believe in my own eyes that when I open gay social sites there are lots of guys who are terribly and deliciously handsome with nice bodies. What happened to you??? You should be one those guy next door who could be admired and have crush on! (Crush ng bayan ika nga!) When a girl flirts on you, you tend to ignore them it just because at the back your mind you’re more beautiful! Adding to that your boyfriend is more handsome than hers!!! Sayang ka, ayaw mo sa katauhan ni ADONIS and you would want to be VENUS the goddess of beauty! Di kita ma-reach ate! ANG HABA NG HAIR MO! If you already heard the song “BAKLA MET GAYAM” (BAKLA PALA) which is Ilokano, I’d say you would have a big laugh at it because it so into us. Search at YOUTUBE. WARNING: Handsome and cute guys are unpredictable; they love hotdogs with white sauces rather than sandwiches with peanut butter. HEHEHEHEHE
27. THE WHO YOU?: These are the ones who send their number at your Planet Romeo account or other gay sites (which I believe you have) then when you text them, they would end up asking HU U! Quite stupid thing to ask and not so good. Look, if someone text you don’t reply in that manner ok? Remember, first impressions last (but not always). Ask politely, like “Hi/hello, may I know who is this ‘coz your number is not registered on my phone? Thank you.” See? Gladly fair enough that you will receive a reply. HU U ka jan!!!
28. THE GARBAGE GUY (DUMP): There are a lot of relationships that don’t really last especially when the guy is handsome or surprisingly IDIOT. They don’t have contentment with their partner. Let us see, and ask why or what are the reasons maybe? Probably: 1.) they are not satisfied in you when you are having sex. 2.) You can’t give him his needs. 3.) His eyes are on another guy. 4.) You are not really his type. 5.) Just to have a so called boyfriend. 6.) It’s up to you to add ‘coz I know you have many reasons. Sinagot mo sya, naging kayo at pagkaraan ng ilang araw binasura ka na!!! Ate, sister, kuya, sabi ko nga, marami sila, magtira ka ng pag-ibig para sa sarili mo!
29. THE BUBBLE GUY: Sounds yummy? Not really, these are the type of guys that in the first meeting there are ok, then the next they are not. A so called relationship that you don’t know where are you going, friends ba tau? Buddy ba tau? Sex buddy? Kalaro? Ano nga!!! Sumagot ka! Hehehehe! You don’t know your status with him. Today he is with you then the next day his gone. Kaya nga NAGLAHONG PARANG BULA!
30. FRUSTRATED GUY: A member of NBSB (No boyfriend since birth). It doesn’t only apply on girls PARE! Pati sa ating mga pa-girlalo! Yes, admit it or not, there are guys who never experience having a partner or the worst having sex…So, what does your botty and tender juicy meat for? Brief mo lang ang nakikinabang meron pa pala pati kamay mo! Hahaha! But anyways, don’t be frustrated, lower down your qualifications and standards and you’ll meet a lot of them. MAPILI KA KASI EH HINDI KA NAMAN ARTISTAHIN!
31. YOU FIRST TYPE (Kaw muna): Oh! I’ m sure your one of these guys (maybe not) that sends a message to guys that you really don’t know. SCENARIO: You: “Hi, I’m Billy, 26, Calokohan City, how about you?” Him: “Oh, hello there, I’m Joel, 28 Makati City, where did you get my number?” You: “Ic, got it from a friend (sure ka?) or from Planet Romeo (whatever site that maybe). Got MMS (multimedia message)? Can you send me your face pic?” Him: Yup, I do have… YOU FIRST! (IKAW MUNA!)” You: “IKAW MUNA then I’ll send mine, promise.” Him: No, you first, ikaw unang nagtext d ba?” You: “IKAW MUNA ako unang humingi eh.” (You first, I’m the first one to ask). AAAAGGHHHHHH! Tama na! Kakaloka! Ano ba ate? Walang kamatayang IKAW MUNA!!! Che! If you are the guy, you would really be pissed off with that kind of conversation and you wouldn’t even call that conversation ‘coz it leads you know where!!! Aminin mo na kapatid ikaw ito kung minsan…d ba? Kung lalabas lang sana ang kamao sa cellphone, jumbag ang lagay mo ate! SECOND SCENE: (You send your picture to him ‘coz he promised to do so after you) after a frustrating wait…kahit isang SMS (text) wala ka ng narinig sa kanya!!! Probably, you’re not his type or maybe you’re more handsome than he does! Worst thing is, TAO mong kinausap pero NAGPAKAHAYOP! Oo! HAYOP ang mga kagaya mong di tumutupad sa usapan! HAYOP!!! Oops! Does it hurt to know that truth? Sorry…hehehehe
QUESTION: Where do you belong???
